Sex and Nationality: the World’s Best and Worst Lovers
As a foreigner in London, I am always amazed by the wide variety of people one can encounter when going on an outing. What is London but a giant mix of ethnicities and cultures, a hub where everyone from everywhere gets together? So here I am, sitting on the tube, thinking about this review I have to write and considering the people around me:
Mixed couples, a few “genuine” British and more foreigners with suitcases, cameras and exotic accents. Then, I start to wonder what makes foreigners so special when we met them and what are our expectations? Do we consider the language they speak as attractive, their way of being; or do we subconsciously give in to curiosity and the need to check overheard rumours?
Once I hit home, I started to give some serious thought to the O-mighty-question and did some diggings on Google. I knew that lots of sexual stereotypes could be overheard, read or seen, but that reviews could be conducted on the topic or that you would actually find a penis size world map, had never crossed my mind.
My first “golden nugget” was certainly a lovely poll published on 30 September 2009 by The Telegraph. Based on interviews with 15,000 people, the review came up with two top 10s of the world’s best and worst lovers. Let’s have a look, shall we?
WORLD’S WORST LOVERS:
1. Germans (too smelly)
2. English (too lazy)
3. Swedish (too quick)
4. Dutch (too dominating)
5. Americans (too rough)
6. Greeks (too lovey-dovey)
7. Welsh (too selfish)
8. Scottish (too loud)
9. Turkish (too sweaty)
10. Russians (too hairy)
WORLD’S BEST LOVERS:
6. South Africans
8. New Zealanders
I am sure that as your eyes go through this poll, some – if not all – of you agree/disagree, compare, comment and wonder. Yet, something is missing, don’t you think? In this era where everything is about sex equality, men’s voices remain unheard. I therefore dug around for some manly reaction and finally found what I was looking for… Well, a reaction… RamzPaul, a notorious US blogger, stepped up to defend us men and even came up with a poll of his own. Watch the first part of this video; you will definitely have a good laugh.
WORLD’S WORST LOVERS:
1. Americans (Too fat)
2. English (too many STDs)
3. Swedish (too large of a penis)
4. Jewish (too whiny)
5. Germans (too big boned)
6. Mexicans (too easy to get pregnant)
7. Arab women (too likely to explode)
8. Italian women (too psychotic)
9. African women (too loud and obnoxious)
10. Japanese (too bratty)
So? What do you think? Should we say: “Too lazy or “energy saving”; “too fast” or “efficient”? Speaking of efficiency, the Durex sex survey issued in 2008 on how many times people had sex per week in each country came up with results that do not really match these polls. Did you know that Switzerland hosted the horniest population in the world? How come they do not figure in any of the above lists?
Shame our dear blogger did not manage to gather the opinion of 14,999 men so that we could compile both polls and really come up with a fair top 10, if we did… Switzerland might well have had a chance! After all, attraction and good performance do not really lie on the same level. Having a look at this survey, we may well stop considering foreigners and their sex appeal and instead flee to some sex-starved nations for some action…